Encourage One Another…

1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

The other day we looked at some verses which emphasized how much influence and impact our words have on relationships. Indeed, “the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Proverbs 18:21) And James wrote: “The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6) I am amazed at how easily we allow words to produce so much damage, however unintended, to our relationships with one another. As James also observed, “Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be.” (James 3:10)

Knowing the power of words (which are the expressions of the thoughts of our hearts) as well as the weakness of our ability to tame the tongue, we need to strive and make every effort to guard our mouths and our tongues. Solomon advised: “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity.” (Proverbs 21:23) Another translation of this verse reads: “The one who guards his mouth and tongue keeps himself out of trouble.” And so, I believe we would be wise to heed these instructions in order to accomplish what Paul urges us to do in our relationships; namely, to encourage one another and build each other up. If we would put more attention on appreciating what others do right rather than dwelling on where they fall short, there would be less hurt inflicted within our relationships….

1 Thessalonians 5:9-18 (NIV)

For God did not appoint us to suffer wrath but to receive salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ. He died for us so that, whether we are awake or asleep, we may live together with Him. Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers and sisters, to acknowledge those who work hard among you, who care for you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers and sisters to warn those who are idle and disruptive; encourage the disheartened; help those who are weak; and be patient with everyone. Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else. Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

There is an acronym that reads:

Think Before You Speak!

T – Is it True?

H – Is it Helpful?

I – Is it Inspiring?

N – Is it Necessary?

K – Is it Kind?

I pray that we will remember to engage our filters and to think before we speak. Like toothpaste, once the words come out of our mouths, we cannot put them back in the tube.

So Now You Know…

Have a Blessed Day!

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. ~ Ephesians 4:29-32

Taming The Tongue…

Proverbs 15:1 (NIV)

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

Our Verse of the Day reminds us it is good to check our attitudes whenever we become provoked or angry. There is nothing lost when we exercise kindness in our relationships, and often we can gain understanding if we will pause and listen to the other person … regardless of the tone of their expression. While I realize it might be difficult to be silent when someone is yelling at you and out of control, your patience and gentleness (even silence) can help subdue emotions of anger, hatred, or bitterness. Immediate reactions are not always helpful in a stressful situation. We might feel attacked and want to be defensive, but if we choose to engage another with harsh or caustic replies, we typically invite anger to move into the realm of rage. And I’m fairly certain there will be no positive outcome under those conditions…. Remember, the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit. (Cf. Proverbs 18:21)

The Apostle James gives us some additional insight and wisdom on this issue as well:

James 1:26 (NIV)

Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless.

James 3:3-12 (NIV)

When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and sea creatures are being tamed and have been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers and sisters, can a fig tree bear olives or a grapevine bear figs? Neither can a salt spring produce fresh water.

My friends, we are called to control our tongues … to exercise restraint when it comes to our words. For what are words except the expression of the thoughts of our hearts. When emotions run high, it is best to guard our hearts and our words. Once words come out of our mouths, it is like toothpaste. You will not be able to put it back into the tube! Consider what Jesus taught when He admonished the Pharisees for their hypocrisy: “For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good things, and an evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth evil things. But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.” (Cf. Matthew 12:34a – 37) These are powerful words for us to contemplate if we want to give serious thought to the consequences of our words….

King Solomon provided considerable wisdom on this issue throughout Proverbs 15. So, I will end with a few excerpts for your introspection. I am sure there will be other passages that will come to mind as you study the Word of God on your own, but these are provided to stimulate and motivate us to think before we speak. We live in a temperamental culture, filled with all kinds of division, strife, and interpersonal conflict. In Christ Jesus, we are called to love. We are called to peace. Indeed, I believe the fruit of the Spirit is most often manifested through our words. So let us live and keep in step with the Spirit in this regard.

Thoughts for the Day:

Gentle words are a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. ~ Proverbs 15:4

The lips of the wise spread knowledge, but the hearts of fools are not upright. ~ Proverbs 15:7

The discerning heart seeks knowledge, but the mouth of a fool feeds on folly. ~ Proverbs 15:14

A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel. ~ Proverbs 15:18

Everyone enjoys a fitting reply; it is wonderful to say the right thing at the right time! ~ Proverbs 15:23

The Lord detests the thoughts of the wicked, but gracious words are pure in His sight. ~ Proverbs 15:26

The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking; the mouth of the wicked overflows with evil words. ~ Proverbs 15:28

So Now You Know…

Have a Blessed Day!

The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever. The mouths of the righteous utter wisdom, and their tongues speak what is just. The law of their God is in their hearts; their feet do not slip. ~ Psalm 37:29-31

Verse of the Day – 02/20/19

Proverbs 17:9 (NIV)

Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.

Our passage comes from the Book of Proverbs. There is definitely a great message here for us … however hard it might be to implement. Although I read this verse on Wednesday morning, I did not have time to write any commentary – thinking that I would do so later in the day. As it turned out, later in the day, I found myself listening to one of my employees recount a telephone conversation with a client who was “in a rage” and berating some of our employees as well as verbally assaulting me to this subordinate. Needless to say, I became quite incensed. I simmered (no probably boiled is a better description) the rest of the day … repeating the matter to others (mostly immediate family) and then prayed about the matter that night … wondering what had happened to my relationship with this client that I and a couple of my devoted employees would be so denigrated. I will share more in a moment about my prayer time; but to finish, I was rushed to get ready and off to the office on Thursday morning for an all-day staff meeting … and then I worked at the office afterwards until about 7:00 p.m. Yesterday, I had a tooth extracted, so I am just now getting back to this particular Verse of the Day.

As I read this verse again today … I was reminded how my emotions and attitude had gotten the best of me earlier this week. Whoever would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends. Although this client and I are not “close” friends, we have known each other for 25 years. And regardless of the level of affinity, I always want to consider myself someone who would endeavor to “foster love” toward anyone … someone who would always strive to demonstrate Christian character in all circumstances … someone who would endeavor to cover over an offense of any magnitude. But I have to confess, this circumstance has taken me a couple of days to get there, and I regret that my immediate attitude was not more Christ-like. Pondering this verse again reminded me of the convictions I felt during my prayer time Wednesday night while the incident was still fresh in my mind. And I am “repeating the matter” here only to share the spiritual lessons I learned through this experience:

Sometimes it is best to remain silent when we become charged with emotion. Unfortunately, in my “anger” over what had transpired with my employee, I called the client an “explicative” that describes the hind side of a donkey. I regret the lapse of character in front of an employee who has otherwise seen a more noble display of leadership. I was ashamed because it felt no different to me than if I had done so in front of my children. Yes, we are adults. Yes, we are humans. Yes, the employee most likely overlooked my indiscretion in the heat of the moment. But NO; I should be mindful not to bring the slightest potential reproach to our Lord Jesus nor be flippant about a seemingly harmless, understandable show of emotion. In truth, I was the opposite of what Jesus expected me to be. I was out of character. Though Spirit-filled … that was my character none the less in that moment. So I had to question the inclinations of my own heart. Why was I so quick to anger … when it should have been slow to anger? (Cf. Proverbs 15:18; 16:32; 19:11) And, besides, we had just reviewed this passage from Matthew 5 a week or so ago:

Matthew 5:38-45 (ESV)

³⁸“You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ ³⁹But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. ⁴⁰And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. ⁴¹And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. ⁴²Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you. ⁴³“You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ ⁴⁴But I say to you, Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, ⁴⁵so that you may be sons of your Father who is in heaven. For He makes His sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain on the just and on the unjust.

As I prayed Wednesday night and “repeated the matter” to God, He reminded me of my need for repentance. The Lord reminded me of His faithfulness to me my entire life. I thought about His Word: “The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy.” (Cf. Psalm 103:8) I felt convicted and realized that I have been called to be merciful, gracious, and long-suffering towards others. I am expected to “foster” or promote love. Yes, someone I had expected to respect me for my faithful service to them had hurt me. Yet, in my complaint, God showed me a greater truth – the hurt that I felt in that moment was no different than the hurt or disappointment God feels when I fail to be faithful to Him and His Word.

In his epistles, Paul often reminds us of how we should conduct ourselves with others. And notice in the following passage how our failures to conduct ourselves in a right manner causes us to “grieve the Holy Spirit” who dwells within us. Perhaps the conviction I felt Wednesday night was the expression of grief by the Holy Spirit:

Ephesians 4:29-32 (NIV)

²⁹Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. ³⁰And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. ³¹Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. ³²Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

So in my prayer time, forgiveness was the recurrent theme. God has forgiven me … I need to forgive others. If I want to facilitate love in and through my life, forgiveness is a great place to start. Forgiveness does not dismiss what happened. It does not condone the hurt caused. Rather, forgiveness simply releases the person from any debt. Jesus paid my sin debt. I should choose to do the same with others who wrong me. As Paul instructed us: “Love keeps no record of wrongs.” (Cf. 1 Corinthians 13:5)

Dr. David Jeremiah of Turning Point wrote: “The hardest part of forgiving another person is acting like the offense never occurred. But that is what forgiving someone means – restoring relationships to the status they had before the offense took place. It’s one thing to say, “I forgive you,” but it’s another to act like all the effects of an offense are completely erased.” Yet, we need to realize that is how God has forgiven us. (Cf. Jeremiah 31:31-34; Hebrews 10:16-18) The offense I felt from the lips of a friend absolutely pales in comparison to the offenses and transgressions I have committed against the One who created me, loved me, and saved me according to His great love.

Micah 7:18-19 (ESV)

¹⁸ Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of His inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. ¹⁹You will again have compassion on us; you will tread our sins underfoot and hurl all our iniquities into the depths of the sea.

So I pray that each of us would consider the depth of forgiveness we have received in Christ Jesus … and remember that we have been called to forgive others in the same manner as the Lord forgave each of us. However difficult to put into practice, we have to remember that forgiveness is the foundation of our relationship with God. Without His forgiveness, we would have no life within us at all. As Paul wrote: “When we were dead in our sins and under the power of our flesh, God made us alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; He has taken it (our legal indebtedness) away, nailing it to the cross. (Cf. Colossians 2:13-14)

It might sound strange, but I am somewhat grateful that this offense and a slip of my tongue has jolted me with a greater truth – there is no offense committed against me that could be greater that the offense of my own sin before God. The sins of mankind required a sacrifice no one but God Himself could offer to atone for it. (Cf. 1 John 4:10-11) So I am thankful for this reminder as I continue to learn how to “foster” love as Jesus taught us to do. Again, as Paul wrote, “Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another. If any of you has a grievance against someone, forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.” (Cf. Colossians 3:12-14)

Tag: Tame The Tongue